Read My Mind

i present to you a transcript from my brain radio + an accidental elevator pitch for Vans

Dec 12, 2024

I keep crying at videos of New York City. Maybe it’s because I know that’s where all the Substack meet-ups are happening without me.

Still drinking iced coffee in minus temperatures. And what about it.

I have not seen Wicked yet. Simply because I’m not sure I have the water reserves needed for the obligatory crying I will do as a theatre-adjacent kid. After tearing up at the 30 second trailer, I’m not sure I’ll make it through the 2 hour 40 minute run time.

Every time I think something I’m doing is good for me, someone online says it’s bad for me. So I’ve turned off the wifi for the foreseeable. Probably a good thing since it turns out that is also bad for me.

This will be my first December in a long time not working in retail through Christmas. I am pleasantly daunted at the thought of filling so many days. To those still in retail, there is life beyond seasonal hours and the worst customers you’ve ever encountered in your life. Promise.

I’ve had brief encounters with grief this month. A lot of this is about crying I’ve just realised.1 I’m honestly in good spirits though! Understanding that love and grief are two sides of the same coin has provided a gentle reminder of my being human. Facing matters of mortality has not been so gentle.

I like gentle reminders. I hate using my phone as an alarm clock. Does anyone use a Hatch alarm clock and like it enough to recommend? Or know of a way I can adopt and train a bird to sit on my windowsill and wake me up at the same time every morning?

I’ve been shopping my wardrobe as if I’m partaking in a styling challenge for some reason. I don’t know what possessed me to start doing this in the middle of winter given that each day now has to involve changing in and out of clothes in a cold room until the right fit is found. However, I do recommend it if you’re feeling uninspired by clothes.

Speaking of clothes, I took some of my own advice and looked through my baby photos. I discovered a yellow-puffer-donning baby me on a swing. Lo and behold, the next day on Vinted I see a Gap yellow puffer. Sent the seller a pretty low offer and ‘twas mine to purchase in minutes. I love it. Upon further inspection it turns out that the jacket was made in the year 2000. Probably around the same time I was paying zero bills and chilling on that swing.

My filter coffee machine broke. It was older than me but up until yesterday made a really great cup of coffee (or six). Yes, I did have to cut filter papers down to the right size to use it but it was worth it. Looking for a good replacement though there’s really no such thing. Dedicating this post to Old Melitta coffee machine. Wish you had been made of less plastic. </3

I promiseeeeeeee a long form piece is on the way. I truly, honestly promise. I’m not lying. Have I started writing it? no. BUT the concept is solid. Research mapped. Draft titled. It’s on the way and it will NOT be left until 2025.

I’ve been thinking a lot about anonymity on here. Specifically mine. A few of my close friends and family know this is me and know me in person. Would be very odd if they didn’t. But I’m hesitant to write with more of my name and self attached for some reason. Probably because the internet is like a pool of judgement and if I were to be more than concepts of a person behind a brand and someone didn’t like it they would make it known. And frankly, that scares me because if you couldn’t tell already, I’d probably cry.

I’m obsessed with those Christmas cookie boxes I keep seeing. The ones where they’re all homemade in crafty little boxes and gifted to friends. Actually what the hell!? They’re an incredible form of generosity and dedication. Nobody tell my friends because no one is getting presents. (Sorry to those reading this. This is your present xx) I even saw an event where everyone brought cookies and then you built your own box! Or was that a brand event? It’s all blurring into one cloud of green trees and decorations on my phone.

I feel very festive this year. I see a lot of snow covered fields on my train to work. And lots of sheep, though not snow-covered just white. A Polar Express style steam train passed through the station while I was on platform 4 last week. If I had a bucket list that would have to be on there. As long as they have perfected the hot chocolate.

My to-do lists have to-do lists.

Is there anything to watch on tv? By this I mean streaming services because I have no idea what’s showing on ye olde cable television these days.

Let me contradict myself actually because I LOVED that show on Netflix about the blue zones. Live to 100 it’s called. Imagine being 103 years old and still putting on double denim to get on your horse and ride around. Now you don’t have to because a guy in Costa Rica is doing it for real and you’re going to be both inspired and a lil jealous.

I think Vans are coming back. The shoe not the vehicle. Not that either ever left but I don’t drive. For some of you vans may be a staple in the footwear rotation anyway so this may not apply. But I think they’re due a resurgence. I still like the slip-on ones. Just none of the ones with cartoon-ish graphics on them. The classics only. Also the Julia Roberts in Notting Hill platforms. I know Hommegirls did a cool collab with them, which I liked but couldn’t find easily outside of the US site. If it were up to me I would give Vans an imagery overhaul. Play into 90s skater of course but also the current skating scene that I can attest is still alive and well here in the UK. Chuck in some fashion girls - think more it girl with a mystery payrolled job than influencer. Have their friends shoot it. Do this with multiple groups in different cities and then wheat-paste it everywhere. Then put videos of Chloe Sevigny, Devon Aoki and Tony Hawk doing the wheat-pasting on tiktok. Just a thought @vans, for when you have the budget.

Now for the fun part. THE PICS! - some shot on my phone, some obvs not.