Like What You Like

on "personal style" and being driven to inspiration insanity

I hit a breaking point lately that resulted, as they often do, in a breakthrough. This refers to a buzz-topic of the moment, “personal style”. I put it in quotes because right now it’s not feeling so personal. This breakthrough, however, has put me right back at the beginning of my original dilemma except this time I’ve learned that nothing needed improving so much as it needed trust, nurturing and then some alternate sourcing. Let me explain. I’m hoping it’ll be worthwhile.

For some background, I’ve had Pinterest for over eleven years. I have about two-hundred boards, many of which are secret. I love Pinterest in most of its entirety and it still feels a little old-school-internet in its lack of immediate connection to others. But over some time and after consuming a lot of style-centric media across every app possible, I’m starting to question whether I actually like what I’m looking at; what I’m saving, pinning, boarding, favouriting and screenshotting. Or if I just feel obliged to like it because it may have piqued the slightest bit of interest after a tidal wave of uninspiring content provided by algorithmic decision.

stuff I actually like: this photo of Cindy Crawford getting into a car with Richard Gere

stuff I actually like: this photo of Naomi Campbell backstage at a fashion show. do not condone her actions however.

I don’t want to write about social media bombardment too much because I read a lot about that and I write a lot about that too. Like this brief piece from earlier this year on taste and Tumblr here. I assume if you’re on Substack you probably experience it first hand and that’s why Substack feels a little more guarded, for now.

But let’s say we step away from all of it for the sake of personal style (a struggle for me I will admit). Try turning off your phone - after reading this of course. Try starting with you. Feels obvious but do you ever do it? Start with your favourite things from when you were a kid. Start with movies and shows you watch over and over, musicians and artists you’re long-term invested in the journeys and stories of, moments in history/pop culture that you feel drawn to, that don’t feel taxing to discover more about. Find fashion writers with consistent unique perspective, costume designers who create cohesive characters and people who highlight the cultural origins of your favourite clothes. And then read, listen and learn. (I appreciate you may need google for some of those things) Consider magazines you’ll happily drop a tenner on, art exhibits you’d pay for more than once, photo books where each page turn feels like magic, even on the seventh read through. Those are part of your taste and those are good places to start asking why.

Then maybe think about what YOU want to wear to grab dinner with friends, or what YOU feel inclined to throw on, without second guessing, in order to get to a one-on-one breakfast on time. Real life scenarios are where you will find real life dressing. And they don’t have to be occasions where your style is important or prioritised for them to be referential. Think about the outfits of people you’ve had crushes on, the way your friends dress and maybe even more so the way their parents dress. The photo album is an undervalued art book so if you have access to any, crack them open and see what catches your eye outside of the obvious focal points. Beyond the baby pictures and the family portraits at Christmas time.

Go window shopping. Don’t buy a single thing but take note of the materials you reach out to touch and the colours that catch your eye. Don’t think about your seasonal colour palette, your venus and rising signs or whether it’s considered trendy to someone on tiktok who forecasted brown suede for autumn back in August.

Ask your gut & your eye! Connect to what you actually like instead of what you’ve been told. Sometimes the brain needs a page. Find a napkin, a receipt, tear a corner it doesn’t matter just get some thoughts down before they dissolve into the next! This is vital time for understanding your whats, whys and hows of style. You might even discover that the way you aspire to dress is actually just as yourself because every reference you love, that excites you to discover and deep dive, amalgamates as your personal style and drip-feeds into and from the wider world of your personal taste. This wider world I’m talking about doesn’t exist in a fixed state. You have to let its lungs expand to allow for the breath of fresh air that is each new discovery you make.

stuff I actually like: cool people who make good art and also seem nice though I wouldn’t know. Also that blue bag in the centre.

stuff I actually like: the office interiors in Ugly Betty

I took an optical stroll through my camera roll last week and revisited some outfits of my recent past. What I learned from this was that I shouldn’t have sold a bag or a dress, and also that my style has developed a lot since each of those outfits. And that’s probably why it felt like something was a little off in each one. Like so close but just not there yet. And even now, I’m not sure I have full faith in every outfit I leave the house in but that is why I am writing this. Because I’d like to trust my taste enough to not need a mirror for confirmation.

I should note that I am in no way claiming that my personal taste or style is superior to any other. It’s just mine. And there may be a lot of people that hate it, and that would be because it’s not theirs. There are times when something we’d call bad taste becomes part of our own. It often starts ironically but eventually it’s just another part of what we like. Your taste is everything you like huddled under one umbrella. Cheyenne Grenaway, whose style feels so true to herself, said something similar in an instagram story Q&A. I can’t find it to share but it stuck with me enough to pass the message on to my friend, and be a catalyst for this writing.

stuff I actually like: Audrey Tatou breaking a Creme Brûlée sugar shell

stuff I actually like: Anthony Bourdain sharing earned wisdom and smiling

It may not be this deep for some. And that’s okay too. A lot of people wear clothes to not be naked, just as they have jobs to have jobs. Simple as that. But if you’d like to understand your taste beyond just having some, maybe ask yourself about the aforementioned things. You might unlock an undiscovered dress-up box of a world designed for sheer enjoyment, and hopefully not a shopping addiction. You really don’t need to spend lots or have lots to bring your sense of style into reality. It doesn’t matter who things are by or how much they cost (except maybe ethically & planet wise) as long as you feel like yourself in it. That is why this may take time. But it might also help you feel a bit more free. And it might even cultivate connection with others who see from similar eyes. And I’d say that’s a pretty good return on investment.

stuff I actually like: Isabelle Adjani & Daniel Day Lewis in normal outfits under a scanned papery texture

stuff I actually like: Salma Hayek in black leather, black sunglasses and black car & diamond earrings, yelling at paparazzi

stuff I actually like: this photo by Bill Cunningham where the anorak reminds me of Ottolenghi’s folded scrambled egg

stuff I actually like: this editorial from a vogue archive that I can’t remember any details of, sorry

Stop letting the internet tell you what you like and go find out for yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for reading.

Exploring the secret boards may be paywalled content at some point if I ever feel not-guilty for setting up paid subscriptions. And only if that’s of any interest.

See you soon.