Wear The Wrong Thing
styled by a lethal combination of contradiction and intuition
I love contradiction. It’s a more recent acquisition of adoration, personally; one that I used to work too hard to avoid for fear of being deemed a hypocrite. Now I know that this is a natural attribute of human existence. As is worrying about what others think of you. So is unlearning the absolute burden of caring about what others think of you.
With a consistent want for change as a sort-of personality from an early age, you’d think I’d have understood that contradiction would therefore be required. The mind must change after all. How else will the brain grow?
It has taken close to twenty years for me to love that about myself, and let it proudly hang in my wardrobe too. So if you feel like you’re not getting everything just right the first time round, don’t be hard on yourself. That everything takes time, and is never complete, so you might as well max out your trial and error, and enjoy it, while it passes.
An undervalued part of getting dressed is the decision-making skill required to fulfil such a necessary act. It fine tunes the ability to make a call with enough finality to go out and live life. That’s maybe why it can be so make or break for (some of) us. If the fit isn’t fitting the way you like, the rest of your day can feel somewhat marked by the discomfort. Is it possibly ridiculous to give such power to clothes of all things? Maybe. But it has always had an impact on me and likely always will. It probably explains that period of time where I used to change my outfit two or three times a day as a kid; the way I would pack a full suitcase for only a weekend spent at my gran’s. This seems like a good moment to honour that I never felt like she judged my quick changes and fashion shows. She was glam and therefore I am.
Let this post be an honourable mention to all the adults I grew up around who let me be dramatic in my fashion flair, obsessive in my dress-up duffel bag, and stubborn in my desire to wear a chunky belt over a slogan t-shirt. I’m sure you’re all relieved I phased out of some of the more eccentric styling. All of that, plus the subtle guidance of my naturally stylish parents, was vital learning for understanding the power of contradiction in my own style.
So here are some contradictory wardrobe practices—led by my intuition—that I’m leaning towards today, tomorrow, and so on until I transform again.
Texture > Colour any day of the week unless it’s the right colour.
I wouldn’t call myself a particularly colourful dresser. I’ve had a few comments from friends about how much I wear all-black. Even in these apparently notorious all-black fits each material is different, some of the shades are different, and I think it still looks interesting because of that contrast and conflict.
What my friends don’t seem to notice1 is that I do wear colour quite a lot. Blue denim is like a uniform at this point. I love brown suede in many forms. Light and deep blues stay on rotation when it comes to tops, and I’m often reaching for olive-y greens when I need something a bit more dressy. And while it’s not my go-to shade, a specific kind of rich red can make its way into one of my outfits every now and then. In the moment where I reach for an intensely uncomfortable colour, my aim is to trust that reach and lean into it as if the clothes chose me the way crystals supposedly do.
Weather appropriate is boring but I’ll keep an umbrella in my bag at all times.
I live in a climate that definitely experiences all four seasons for which I am increasingly grateful given the state of the planet. This means that the days I really want to be in my suede loafers and velvet blazer, I often have to rethink if I’m about to wreck both materials simply by braving the outdoors. Unfortunately, I automatically let the weather limit my style experimentation, because I’m sensible and also precious about my things. Maybe it’s a sign that my style is not good enough because I can’t fully translate it in poor weather but I’m choosing to ignore that cruel thought. Just like I’m choosing to ignore the weather from now on.
I’m bored of being bored. Especially by what I’m wearing. Since I now spend 40 hours a week in a work uniform, my dressed time outside of that is even more valuable. Why am I not dressing at my most ridiculous, outlandish, and excited at every opportunity?! So I’ll put an umbrella in my bag before I leave and let my clothes feel the rain, wind, and rare sun as much as possible. There’s nothing wrong with being well-prepared but it shouldn’t be the reason I don’t wear everything I want to while I still can. Expect my toes to get wet in peep-toe heels as 100% precipitation is predicted. Let the amber alert gales whip my coat from around my knees because I had to wear a skirt to drinks on the only date everyone was free this month.
After all I am British, so what’s a little stormy weather to a girl who’s been training for this her whole life.
I only want to embody me but I recognise my inspirations and twist their influence if I can.
This is where intuition comes in. What does the most you-est you dress like? If you were to ask deep down in the pits of your stomach, what answer would echo back up to your mind’s eye?
I am trying to ask myself before acquiring any other opinions or inspiration. While I know this is not exactly well-represented in the images used here because they’re from my Pinterest boards, trust that I’m telling the truth. Or consider me a hypocrite and thus make my point, much to my own glee.
Obviously, I am a big seeker of inspiration outside of myself, and my “taste” has come from that in combination with who I actually am, so there will always be other influences on my style. What I want to do with that is twist it and mould into a new shape that transforms when I put it on in my own way. If a stylish stranger notices a small reference in my outfit then I’ve done my job because they’re noticing it on me in a look that I built from my gut first.
I don’t dress for anyone else but I aim for some element of intrigue in every look.
I want to love what I wear. I want to find it interesting. And only after that do I want it to intrigue others. When I see someone else in an interesting outfit, I want to know more about that person! That is the effect I desire from my own outfits. I want my clothes to make you want to know more about me: the wearer and the creator.
Since writing this, I’ve been thinking more about the subtleties of sex appeal in fashion and how intrigue is so connected to that. It’s like step one before making a move to find out more about a person you’re drawn to. A look can, and maybe should, do this. If you want it to. This does mean that there is an agency provided to the viewer as a perceiver of you and your outfit, but there’s that contradiction I’m talking about!
The fun part is that the agency is mostly yours as the wearer. You can decide if you want to intrigue to the point of perception. With an outfit, you can write the narrative of who is wearing it. You can boldly lie with clothes you’ve put together in your dreams of who you’d like to be, and it can become the truth to someone else. I want to create versions of me with every outfit that leave ideas of me on passersby, aware that no one can fully know me more than I let them.
Not to be weird, but be weirder (and braver)
Boy shorts and a court heel, like a Louboutin simple pump. Everything fitted with a Vibram five-toe flat. Baggy top to bottom, undefined in shape, with the most delicate barely-there sandal. Wear a cardigan in the wrong place, tied round the hips over a wide leg culotte. I like anything like this in their contrasts and differences. I know they’re not groundbreaking or particularly crazy ideas to everyone, so work out your own equivalents that push your style boundaries. The words random, silly, and fun come to mind. It feels freeing and connected to a younger-self lack of inhibitions. I like the naivety of getting dressed for whoever you were back then but in your new adult way.
My wardrobe is that serious to me, that I believe it should be the most fun I have before I go out and have fun. If it fits but it’s not fitted, that’s fun. If it creates new silhouettes and weird proportions, or suits my shape entirely, that’s all fun. I want to push it to the weirdest point because that’s what felt so wrongly right when getting dressed. Dare to appear confusing to everyone else.
There are times when I’ve wondered if I’m wearing the right thing. Turns out there’s no such thing unless you’re in a) a professional environment, or b) a mandatory uniform context. I have spent a lot of my life so far thinking my body should look a certain way, and therefore I can only dress it certain ways depending on the reactions I’d like (or not like) to warrant. Again, I made this up in my (cruel) mind and overthought it to the nth degree.
When I look through my family photo album I see that everything I wanted to wear as a kid, I pretty much put on with no fear and barely a second thought. I don’t know when it happened but at some point I stopped asking myself what I actually wanted to wear. My ultimate goal for my style from now on is to revive that original freedom. I want to wear everything wrong because it feels right to me, in my gut.
Maybe I’ll dress all the way up for a one-hour coffee stop with my sister, or chuck a masculine black corduroy coat over soft sweatpants and uggs to grab dinner in a dimly-lit restaurant with my friends. Perhaps instead of matching a navy bag to my navy hoodie, I’ll reach for an inconveniently small snake print baguette to perch on my shoulder instead. Yeah it’ll only hold a lip gloss and my earphones but if it feels perfect to me in its obvious uselessness then that is the call of my gut that I must answer.
Figure out your rightest wrongs and put them on. I think it is really as simple as that.
Thank you for reading.
See you soon.
because they have lives and more important things to think about obviously
Style is allowed to change without needing a justification. Trying something new doesn’t erase who you were before, it just adds to it. Rain shouldn’t get the final vote on what you wear anyway. An umbrella and a little defiance makes getting dressed more interesting.