I am once again ridiculing my brother on my Substack. Frankly, it’s deserved given that he recently asked “who is Substack” when I mentioned he’d inspired some writing. Fortunately, this does mean I can call him lazy with zero repercussions.1
He’s forever fighting those can’t read allegations, as well as that just-turned-twenty boy-skin every now and then. An abrasive mix of university living, plus a full-time cheffing job, combined with hedonistic, impulsive behaviours, and not much time to even consider the concept of “self-care” is bound to manifest on the epidermis eventually. Though I am aware this makes him busy rather than lazy by definition, it was funnier (to me) this way ok. So I’ve gathered you all here today to add yet another routine to the already-slammed daily schedule that is life.
If you’re apprehensive and untrusting by nature2, here are my credentials. Not qualifications nor certifications. But I have had a skincare routine for about eleven years, dealing with acne, oiliness, dehydration, absolutely destroyed skin barrier, facial eczema and so on within that time. These days I’d say my skin is pretty normal with rare blemishes that leave fairly quickly.3 I don’t buy any full-size facial products without a minimum of two weeks research beforehand. I may or may not have a full time job in skincare (that I use but won’t be recommending right now). I think I can confidently say I am the resident skincare guru among my friendship groups, my family, and my colleagues.
Personally, I tend not to use fragranced skincare and don’t really buy anything too strong, e.g. acids, chemical exfoliants, peels, but I do know about them and understand why and how they work for others.
Not every product works the same way for everyone. There are different skin types and thus, different skin reactions. So take any product recommendation you ever get with a hearty pinch of salt and proceed with caution and lots of well-informed hope.
Just in case adding any of the following products to your bathroom shelf causes suspicion from a girlfriend, significant other, situationship4 etc, feel free to direct them here. Tell them to subscribe.
At long last, this is what I would recommend to my brother, who chooses to make less time for self-care routines so he has more time to frolic, half-arse a uni degree, and pursue his dream of wiping down kitchen surfaces at 1am every night.
None of this is found in the ghastly garish blue, black, grey, and orange-coloured section titled “men’s products” in the drugstore. Shop the good skincare like a normal person you weirdo. Also worth noting that I have tried and tested every recommendation here and none of it is affiliated in case you were wondering.5
2 Steps: The Bare Minimum
Cleanse & Moisturise
That is all there is to it. Clean your skin and then hydrate it. I’m not asking for the world.
The Cleanser:
Options left to right
Simple Micellar Facial Gel Wash - lightweight, fuss-free.
Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser - a dermatologist favourite.
Bioderma Sensibio Gel Cleanser - a French skincare classic that I can rely on.
La Roche-Posay Toleraine Foaming Gel Cleanser - a new replacement for my favourite LRP cleanser that got discontinued, still good and cleanses as it should.
iS Clinical Cleansing Complex - if there could be a gel cleanser of my dreams, it’s this, just not always what my wallet dreams of.
The Moisturiser:
Options left to right
The Inkey List Omega Water Cream - clues in the name, like ultra-hydration for a kind price.
Byoma Moisturising Gel-Cream - I loved this enough to repeat buy a few times, never upset my eczema or acne at the time, super simple and gentle and effective.
Aveeno Oat Gel Moisturiser - my current go-to, repurchased over and over because it seems to run out fast, but has worked for me all year round with zero issues.
Avène Hydrance Aqua Gel - you can tell I love a gel formula, I think because it tends to work for any combination of issues.
Bioderma Hydrabio Crème - a bit of a creamier formula but a fan favourite, would recommend for seasons where skin is feeling drier.
Korres Nourishing Probiotic Gel Cream - I love anything probiotic in skincare as it seems to always work magic for my skin, plus I love Korres as a brand.
Malin & Goetz Vitamin E Face Moisturiser - I would use this until the end of time every winter if it was less of a splurge.
Shani Darden Hydration Peptide Cream - the most 5* reviews I’ve seen for a moisturiser, so far my experience with anything peptide-related has been positive.
Biossance Squalane & Probiotic Gel Moisturiser - it’s like all of my favourite skincare ingredients found a way into one jar.
Augustinus Bader The Rich Cream - I’ve only used a sample but if you need a dry skin sorter guaranteed and you earn more than you need then this is for you.
3 Steps: A Solid System