It's The Body

why it matters now more than ever that you dress for yourself

very large tw: discussing body image

Conditioned notions of the ideal body can skew the truth of the style we’re seeing. More often than not the style is a lot easier to replicate than you think. It’s just that we don’t all look the same. And thank goodness for that.

Unless you’re about to undergo the incredible commitment of complete body recomposition, put the phone down and figure out what suits your body instead.

It’s the people that make the clothes not the other way round. Stop buying clothes from bodies you don’t have and expecting it to look the exact same. Instead, look at what the clothes actually are - do you need them, do you have something similar already, if you were to build a wardrobe from scratch based on a blend of your own taste and add in bits from someone you admire what would that look like?

I personally get a lot of fashion content online of slim, small white women.¹ I’ll hold my hands up and say this is partly my fault. It’s been a point of aspiration in my life since childhood, that I am hyper aware is problematic, so it’s contributed to my version of the internet that I have built over time. I am working on correcting this.

It is also the fault of the internet and the strong presence of trends in beauty and body standards; two things that should not be considered so shoppable, changeable or as something that needs to be “fixed”.

It is something I am unlearning as I get older. I now care more about enjoying the process (and privilege) of living than looking like a supermodel. As if they’re banging down my door to get me on the cover of Vogue at my sky scraping height of 5 foot 3.² As I create more for Kind of Cool and seek out interesting imagery, I feel I have a level of responsibility to represent everyone because fashion, style and cool stuff should be for everyone in their uniqueness. I would hate to increase the existent pressure to conform to what already exists instead of create a life that suits you.

Of course, celebrity affects these trends too though the popular trends never really stray too far from skinny to a slight version of hourglass. Titles for bodies, especially women’s, have been around a long time. Categorising us by our sizes and shapes and disguising it as a helpful guideline to assist clothes shopping. Pretty fucking weird when you think about it and all in the name of selling stuff with complete control.

But even the implementation of phrases like “plus size” and “curve model” and “mid size” are appearing less and less in the last few years. While I’m naively hopeful this is because a model is a model regardless of their category (though I know it’s the nature of casting in the job) I’m pretty certain it’s more to do with the increased return of “heroin chic” which is certainly not chic by the way, it’s dangerous and destructive to a life with so much potential for enjoyment and creativity. Makes sense given the current climate.

God forbid human beings be fully functioning and healthy and develop a natural flush after running for a bus or glow from the inside out because they’re learning what works for them and not for societal validation.

If you are naturally a smaller person, then you know what makes you feel your best self. If you are naturally a bigger person, then you know what makes you feel your best self. Whether you then decide to do the things that make you feel your best is your business. If you’re reading this unsure what makes you feel your best and you’d like to know, the best person to ask is yourself and probably a medical professional. The answer is not the peanut gallery of social media comments before it is either of those options.

I see comment sections flooded with requests for outfits on screen; “where’s the black top from? where did you get your trousers? omg I need that dress drop the link”

First of all can we have some manners? You’re still asking for something from another person. Secondly, please consider that what you might actually like in the video is that person’s body. It’s a hard pill to swallow, especially if you do not in fact look like that person and even harder if you wish you did. Maybe those clothes will still fit you in a way you like and that’s fantastic. But I’m telling you from experience as someone who still owns a pair of trousers that only fit when she’s taking up less space, it is self-inflicted misery that society will never accept the blame for. And it’s designed that way.

It’s very clear our overconsumption problem as a whole is directly tied to our obsession with how we’re being perceived among other things. And so we want to look our best. Or do we want to look like someone else’s best?

I’m not going to Jemima Kirke clock you³ because I think what we’re looking for outside of ourselves regarding self-image, should be sourced from within. Get to know you! And then if you actually need clothes, go outside in real life. Stop asking people online for your final answers if they work out 7 days a week and barely own a desk, when you in fact spend Monday to Friday in a desk chair and then fit in like 20 minutes of mat pilates before crashing from exhaustion. Inspiration ≠ the final result.

Consider Matilda Djerf, an example of such blinding rapid online idolisation of clothes. Before her business malpractices were somewhat exposed, her style was lauded as “amazing”, “iconic” and many other dramatically complimentary adjectives.

While yes, she does have some cool clothes (and more importantly the money to buy them), her style is actually really simple when you analyse it item by item. What actually made the difference to her audience was her image in its entirety; the Farah Fawcett-esque hair, her scandi summer tan and glowy makeup looks, and her socially accepted (white)⁴ body that the clothes were dressing.⁵

But when her personal choices as a company director and founder are discovered as differing from her curated online persona of loveliness (which we as an audience projected onto her content by the way) suddenly she becomes less interesting to follow for fashion and style. And maybe you’re still following along so let me know your thoughts if so.

Time and time again we return to this dilemma: Can we really separate the artist from the art? The influencer from the influence?

By no means am I intending to tear down anyone who shares fashion content online. Especially not women, as I am one and I’d rather not be a hypocrite if I can help it. I’m also not claiming to be any type of authority on such matters. But however you identify, I implore you to start at the source. Yourself. Letting the internet act as an educative helping hand to your references is one thing, but straight up copying and buying things will not help in self-discovery which is likely what you’re after more than ever. Whether that be towards your personal style or personal development, the key word is personal.

Your clothes should fit you not disappoint you.

blue nude, matisse

1. nothing wrong with this, just not very diverse and homogenises my view of style & bodies.

2. and a half

3.

4. there is a huge conversation to be had within all of this regarding systemic racism, politicisation of bodies and internalised misogyny within and beyond fashion. though I have not developed it here due to a tangential nature easily ignited in my writing style, it is something you should be thinking and learning about if you aren’t already aware, especially if you care about fashion and it’s direct correlation with reality.

5. even then(!) she still received comments on every post asking if she was pregnant or debating if she’d gained weight. as though it’s any of your business.